RE:think

A Dose of Perspective

You still live in the greatest country on earth. If you don’t believe that, try the other options.

If you have a smart phone, internet, cable, go out to eat, go to the movies, go out to shows, or any other nonessential things then guess what? No one wants to hear you say you are poor.

That short term nonthreatening illness you complain about constantly? Some parents lost their child to a very threatening one yesterday.

And on that note, you complain about your kids? At least they are still here with you.

Work got you down? At least you have a job. Lots of people would gladly trade places with you.

To be continued…

Spring!

I can't begin to tell you how grateful I am that spring is here. Winter is always very tough on me. I just had the best winter of my life my soul still longs for the warmth. My heart still needs to see green grass and green leaves. New beginnings are a wonderful thing and spring serves as a yearly reminder of that. So enjoy it friends! Soak up some sunshine!

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My Take on Last Night's Sullivan County School Board Work Session

This post may come across as a “stream of conscious”. I apologize ahead of time… 

After witnessing Dr. Yennie’s recommendation and the many public comments at last night’s work session for the rezoning for Sullivan County Schools, I have a slightly different opinion about the entire issue. I still agree that some plan has to be put forward. Since the scenarios were put forth, I understood the scenario of combining middle school student in one current high school and high school students in the other. On some levels it makes sense. But now I know I just can’t support it. If it does indeed happen, and indications are it will for the 2014-015 school year, I will still do my best to make the transition as painless as I can for my own children. Why I changed my mind will hopefully make sense after you read my thoughts on last night. 

“You have awakened a sleeping giant.” Those were the words of a South Zone speaker last night. I mention it because I find it interesting that the North Zone has been under attack by annexation and school closings for decades while Colonial Heights and South Zone citizens sat idly by and never said a word. Now that they are in the crosshairs of the board, they finally wake up. I have no ill will towards these folks though. They are trying to protect their own. It is similar to the east side of the North ignoring what was going on in the west end. As long as their schools aren’t closing and their children aren’t being shuffled around then who cares about those “other people”. This attitude will make it extremely hard for our kids to coexist in the same school. The merger will will cause much stress and anxiety.

Since everything is now up for grabs though, it is time we all come together and work to figure this out. It will take all of us. Not just the board that has been elected. They work for us and our children. It’s time we start thinking about the whole as opposed our little corner and ONLY our own children. Of course we need to protect our own, but the best way to do that is with help and support from others protecting their own. If we want our children to be safe, happy, and receive a good education, we have to work together. That will mean making some sacrifices and compromising where appropriate. Pride will need to be swallowed. I know some of us have sacrificed much already, but the pride that has been hurt by those sacrifices needs to cease being a factor in our thinking.

In all the comments I heard last night, no one put forth any real alternative suggestions other than “do nothing”. We all know that doing nothing will not help the matter. I myself did not speak. I was ready to, but the format really does little for influencing the board in my opinion. Most, if not all, on the board were not taking notes. So all they will remember is the anger and emotion. In a couple of days those things will fade in their minds. I also chose not to speak because my opinions are not popular and I do not want what I think to cause my kids any trouble at school. I will instead be sending letters, emails, and making phone calls. I did want to be present to know what was going on and show support for my children’s schools.

So what do I want out of all of this? In a perfect world I want nothing to change in the North Zone or South Zone. Most of us are happy with our children’s schools and would love to have things remain the way they are. I want that more than anything. But since it is not a perfect world, I know that we need to be prepared to walk our children through this mess and help create the next best situation. I know the numbers. I know what schools are at capacity and which are not. I know the perceived traveling, sports, teacher cuts, and community hardships that the proposed merger would create. No matter what is done, there will be people who are not happy about it. So here is what I would propose were I in a position to do so.

I would gather as much community support as I could both in the county and the city for the all of these school systems to work together for the solution. Annexation is not going away. And since our state constitution allows the cities and counties to work together in the education of our children, this would be the best long term solution. If this means one school system for all, I am for it. I know this would be an ego hit to all of our elected officials and cooperation would be tough in the beginning. Everyone naturally wants to protect their own turf. But in the long run, our kids, grandkids and generations to come would be better off for it. The silly rivalries between adults in this matter cannot trump the well-being of the regions children. Let’s get this on the table at least. It’s high time.

A few more personal “take aways” from the meeting:

• The school board, minus a couple of members is very old. I have to wonder how they can really be in touch with today’s youth and what is going on in the schools.
• Dr. Yennie is in a tough spot. While he has appeared to say things at certain times to get people off his back, he was tasked to make recommendations. That is what he did. He’s the “bad guy” to many but ultimately, these problems began long before he got here. We the people need to own these problems.
• The “partnership” between North and South parents is shaky at best. Both groups are still out to protect their own. Get it together people. And those putting to much trust in the other side, watch your back.
• I was delighted to have my youngest son, my stepson, and my youngest daughter with me to see this process. And even more delighted that all the way down to my 9 year old, they found it interesting and learned more about how society works. We all talked about it all the way home.
• I was proud of my community and the way people handled themselves. This could have easily been ugly and it wasn’t. It was tense at times, and very pointed at others, but respect was given.
• I was proud of the many young people from various schools who took the podium to speak. We have some outstanding youth here in our area.

I will end with this. Change is inevitable in every facet of our lives. How we handle it and shape it will determine how we live with it. I love my children dearly. I want only the best for them. But I also care very much about my friends and their children. No matter what the future brings, I will continue to voice my concerns and be involved. If you have children in any of these schools I encourage you to do same, even if your ideas are different than mine. 

 

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A Few Thoughts on Sullivan County Rezoning...

The Music & Me: “Walk”

It is no secret that Dave Grohl has become a sort of hero of mine. All I know of him comes from his music, interviews, and performances. He seems to be a guy who enjoys his life, his craft, and knows he’s flawed. In those respects, I relate. He is never boastful and seems to know that he is living a dream. If there were one person in music today I could sit and have a beer with it would be him. So, obviously his music has meant a lot to me. How much you ask?

I went through a lot this past year. A TON. Some of it I brought on myself and some was forced on me. In the end, it was just life and the shit you have to deal with eventually. This time last year I was miserable. I was about to reach a point I thought I'd never get to. My marriage was on the brink and close to ending. Everything I knew was up for grabs. Where would I go? How would my life continue on? And most scary, what was next and could I get up and do it?. A month or so later I was listening to the Foo Fighters' latest album (now well over a year old) "Wasting Light" for the thousandth time. "Walk" came up on the shuffle. Within a minute tears were streaming down my face. I was not yet learning to walk again but the song inspired me to try. It lifted me out of the depths I’d plunged into.

One song. ONE solitary song and I was inspired to keep moving, to live. I know it sounds dramatic, and well, I guess it is. This crazy guy, Dave Grohl, writes a song, I hear it,  and my life is affected in a way I really needed in that moment. That is why real artists do what they do. It reached #1 on the charts and won two Grammy's but I guarantee you Grohl is more happy about what the song did for it's listeners. The entire album is about second chances and I really needed to know I could have another chance.

It’s not rare to find a song that fits your situation perfectly. They are all written by people just like us. People who have been through or are going through exactly what we are going through. And that is part of what makes music so great. In music, none of us are alone. This song told me that I wasn’t the first who had to pick up the pieces and learn to move ahead. It told me that walking again, LIVING AGAIN, was possible. And guess what, that is exactly what I did.

I leave you with a live performance of the song. Enjoy.

The Music & Me: An Intro

I have never had a great memory. But I do remember a particular day. I couldn’t have been more than four or five years old I think.  I remember it was summer because the sun shining through the open windows of my Mom’s VW Bug was warm on my legs. We had just stopped at Dairy Queen or some such place because I had a vanilla cone in my hand. But above these memories of that day, and probably the reason I remember this day at all was the song playing on the radio. It is my first memory of music. “And the sailors said Brandy, you’re a fine girl...” Mom was singing along and I remember it as not just a good memory, but a great one.

Growing up our family saw it’s fair share of change. My Mom and Dad divorced when I was 5. Mom remarried twice. We lived all over and probably never more than a year or two in the same place from age 5 to 13 or so. But one thing never changed. It was always there. Music. My parents were both enthusiast as well as musician/singers themselves. So it was always around. It was my comfort zone. In a world that changed all the time, a familiar song was always there to steady me.

I mentioned that I have a bad memory. That is no joke. But it is no surprise that most of my memories revolve around hearing a song and remember what was going on at a time that song was playing. I guess it’s just the way my mind works. I hear “Life in the Fast Lane” or “New Kid in Town” and am immediately transported back to house we lived in before my parents split up. It was a night they had friends over and were playing the Eagles NEW album “Hotel California”. “Rock of Ages” by Def Leppard fires up and I am back in our trailer on a Saturday morning doing our weekly cleaning chores as Casey Kasem’s top 40 plays on the stereo. I could go through dozens of other songs and give you a story but you get the point. Music has been woven into the very fabric of my life.

 

When I was 9 I started playing saxophone and played one off and on over the next 12 or 13 years. Learning the instrument and how to read music was huge for me. My Dad played and still plays a mean guitar. He’s my favorite guitarist of all time. He and Mom both played in high school band. So learning an instrument was very important to me. Not only was it a way to follow in their footsteps, but it allowed me to participate in this wonderfully magical thing that was so important to me. Again, some of my most fond memories from the ages of 9-12 were playing in the school band. It lead to teaching myself the guitar in my early 20's.

 

Music can stir, reinforce and lift away so many emotions. When I have been sad there has always been a song to play that commiserates with me. Conversely, there is always a song there to lift me out of it. I still listen to the radio, whether over the air or internet, and a song can come up that completely shifts my mood. Music is powerful. It is one of the more powerful forces in our lives.

Doubt the power of music? How many songs do you hear and immediately know the movement it is associated with? How many times have you laughed, smiled, or cried at the sound of music? How often have been inspired or even angered by a song or composition? Yes, music is powerful. In a the coming posts of this series I am going to so I'll show you. I hope you enjoy…

Why Facebook is Bad for Conversations and Debates

I am about to write something that I am not sure I should post. I guess if you are reading this, then I got to the end and decided to. :)

I know this topic is overdone. It's been talked about and written about over and over. We all know that going online to debate and have conversations on things like politics, religion and other issues that carrry lots of emotion is usually a bad idea. These things are hard enought face to face. Take out tone and body language and they become almost impossible. Volumes have been written on the subject already. I do have something to add though.

I've been discussing things with people online now for nearly twenty years. It first started around 1994 and the Prodigy Online Bulletin Board system. It was a place to log on and discuss just about any topic you'd like. I was heavily involved there on many topics. As the World Wide Web came into it's own there were message boards in a myriad of places to do the same thing and I moved over to those. I finally got tired of it all because I wanted to write lenghty pieces and then have discussions. That's how I like to express myself and then learn from the discussion. To that end, I started blogging in the early 2000's.  It was great. I learned much about myself and even more from others. Then came Facebook.

Blogging was, and really still is, done by a very small group of people. Most bloggers had blogs on a particular topic and they knew a lot about that topic. In my case, I TRIED to know as much as possible about the things I was writing about. With a smaller pool of people and more time and effort going into what you said and how you reacted made for a decent, if not perfect place, to share ideas online. We may not have been experts, but we tried very hard to know what we were talking about and learn from one another.

Conversley, Facebook, is open to anyone. There are a billion people using it. Posting is very quick and easy. It is rapid fire and messy where blogging was slower paced and deliberate. But more than anything, it gives access to people who do not care to explore the subject they are posting about or are commenting on. It allows us to post quickly and while full of emotion. Most do not stop to think. Most are not looking to learn from others. They just want to shout you down or delete it all when they have lost the debate. Which leads me to the bit that I am afriad may get me in hot water...

Too many Facebook users are ill equipped to go online and engage in conversation. Let's just stare down that elephant in the room for a minute. Many of the people we know are not able to communicate well in person, so why do we expect that they will fair any better online? People speak without thinking. Now they can go online and type without thinking. But these days, depending on their privacy settings, they are saying in front of the entire world. At the very least they say it to hundreds of "friends".

It's too bad that Facebook can't have a waiting period before posting your status or a reply to a thread. I know that is not feasible and defeats the purpose of real time conversation, but there are people who could use that option. At the very least, if a person gets upset that a thread is not going their way, and that thread was started by someone else on their event page, their fan page, their wall or wherever, they'd have to have any deletions reviewed. Deleting bashing or personal comments is one thing. Deleting an entire discussion because it doesn't go the way you wanted is another entirely.

There is not an answer for this problem. I leave you with only with warnings and suggestions. Do not get your hopes up for a good debate. If one happens, great. But most times it will devolve into name calling and censorship via the delete option. If you really care about a subject, post about it on your own wall. That way you know the entire thread won't be blown up and deleted on a whim. Try not to delete any comments in a thread unless they are flat out name calling, bashing or harrasing. Let the debate go where it may, even if your point is picked apart and maybe, just maybe, you are shown to be lacking in your argument or just wrong. Most of all, post about what you really know and argue with conviction and respect. Maybe then you will end up with one of those rare Facebook gems where everyone takes something positive away.

If you got here via my Facebook link, come back to the status update and let me know your thoughts. ;-]

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A Few Thoughts on Sullivan County Rezoning...

I Hate My Blog

A Few Thoughts on Sullivan County Rezoning...

Locally you can’t read the newspapers, watch the news, or peruse Facebook without hearing about the plans that Sullivan County Schools are mulling over for rezoning. There is obviously lots of emotion. Many facts are being parroted. And as can be expected, there is much denial, delusion and flat out lying going on. I’ve paid attention because I have a dog in this fight. Well, not a dog, but three children. One is a rising freshman at North High School, one a rising 6^th grader at North Middle School, and the other a rising 4^th grader at Ketron Elementary. 

A little personal history is in order to start. I grew up in and around the “North Zone”. We moved a lot, but spent most of the time in the Midfields/Lynn Garden area. I went to Gravely Elementary because that was where my Mom went and wanted us to go. I attended middle school at Lynn View and then later graduated high school from Sullivan North. I am one of those rare people who enjoyed school all the way through, from Kindergarten to graduation. It was a wonderful system growing up.

In 1999, I bought a house in Bloomingdale with my now ex-wife. Our kids went to Kingsley Elementary to start. My daughter went to Ketron Middle for 6^th grade. The boys then moved to Ketron elementary when Kingsley closed and my daughter moved on to Ketron Middle, now North Middle in the 7^th grade. Through all the changes, we were always blessed with great teachers and great principals. But there was also lots of change and the threat of change around every corner.

Now, you will notice a pattern above. Gravely, Lynn View, Kingsley, Ketron Middle School… All closed. Add to it the schools that my friends went to and friends of my children… West View, Lynn Garden, Bell Ridge, Cedar Grove… All closed or no longer part of the Sullivan County School System. It’s very sad. I used to visit my old schools to see former teachers. When the first round of closings came, I could no longer do that. Thankfully I connected with some on Facebook and have even had the privilege of lunch with a couple of them. Still, it’s hard seeing your old schools washed away.

As everyone knows, there is now a plan that would possibly do away with North as a high school, make it a middle school and combine the high school with South. Many people do not want to see this happen, and they have some good reasons. Others see it as a good thing. Some just see it as simply inevitable. More about that later…

I tell you all of this because there are a few pieces to this rezoning fight that really bother me. The things I am about to say may anger some people. They may feel like accusations. To a point they are. They do not apply to all involved in the fight, but I am seeing inconsistency and must comment. As a lifetime North Zone resident and with kids in these schools, I feel I have every right to voice my feelings and concerns, even if they are not popular. I ask that you read with an open mind and understand where I am coming from.

I see many comments from students and parents claiming “Raiders for life”. The sentiment is admirable, but I am not sure it is entirely true. They are really “Raiders for right now till I or my kids are no longer in the system.” This is my first problem. There is nothing wrong with having this attitude. You take care of your own. I just want to see people be honest and up front about it. Our lives are busy. After our kids are out of school we have other tasks to handle. Some will choose to continue to fight for their community schools, but most simply won’t have the time or energy for it.

The next issue I have with this fight is tied to the last. Bloomingdale, Arcadia, and Orebank are really about all that is left of the North Zone. I mentioned the areas that I grew up in and I have to ask: Where was Bloomingdale and the others when those communities were absorbed by the city and we were all sold a bill of goods? Most did not see it as their problem. Their schools were safe. Their kids did not have to make choices or changes. They had no ties to those schools. And now that it’s time to pay the piper, the remaining communities are ready to fight. They need not forget that those schools lost a decade or so ago are a huge reason they are in the fight now.

Lastly, I am appalled by the negative comments towards Colonial Heights and South. Why? I know many good, hardworking people who have or have had children in those schools. They don’t like this situation any more than we do in the North Zone. They too have been safe for a while but are starting to feel some of the pain the rest of us have with city annexations. And please, think ahead. If this does go down as many think it could, our children will be in school with those children. We will be involved with their parents. How much harder will we make things by being disparaging now?

I will leave you with a few of my own thoughts on the matter.

First, Sullivan County will make a decision on this. I will be surprised if it gets tabled and nothing is done. I also see it as a distinct possibility that the changes will occur in the North and South zones. There are too many dollars to be saved. So those who are fighting the good fight should not give up until the decision comes. But they also need to be preparing for this to happen. I know many are saying they will send their children elsewhere. That is emotion talking. If you send your kids to Central or wherever, they will still suffer from change. That change will create as much or more angst for them than if you just go with the flow. They will be separated from many of their friends because most will end up letting their children go to whatever high school or middle school they end up zoned for.

Next, this problem has decades of roots. We all dropped the ball along the way. Once the decision comes, and should it not be in favor of the North and South zones, the next push should be to pressure Sullivan County and Kingsport City to truly partner in the education of our children. There are provisions out there for that to happen. In the end, it could be the best long term solution to this ongoing issue. I know pride has been hurt. We do not want to see these changes to our communities. But remember, many people in the western portion of the North Zone have already suffered. If you win this fight there will be another down the road. Let’s work for a long term solution.

Finally, I will comment about my own children so you will know where my head is on the matter. My children, as you already know, are in these schools. I no longer live in Bloomingdale but their Mother does. In a few months I will most likely be moving to Colonial Heights. So the combining of these schools would actually help solve a couple of problems for our family. I do realize it could hurt, especially my daughter, in the area of sports. She is slated to be a varsity basketball player as a freshman at North. She played the last month of this season with the JV and Varsity at North High as an 8^th grader! She has a good rapport with the coaching staff and tons of opportunity. Now she may be hindered by sports politics. But I tell her: You are good enough to play anywhere. You continue to work hard and those things will take care of themselves. But deep down I know it could still be a problem. So I do not say any of this lightly. She is looking forward to being a Golden Raider and set goals, like 1000 points at North. I hate that it could be taken away. I really do…

But at some point everyone is going to have to stand up, together, and suffer for the future. The North Zone to this point has never fully stood together in the last 30 years and done that for the future of the communities. That is why we are in this mess. That is why we have a grand opportunity to do what others could not or would not do. The best to you all and here is hoping we work together to find a proper solution. After all, this is about the education of our children. Pride has no place in that discussion.

I Hate My Blog

Ok, I don’t actually hate it. But going through 11 years of posts and reading things that I sometimes don’t even remember posting is very strange. This blog is an online diary and it’s not always fun looking back at where you were at any one point in time. Especially when you kinda suck at writing.

Some posts are quite embarrassing. I read them and think, “Why in the hell would I have thought anyone cared enough to read about that?” Or “Good lord I suck at writing.” It’s very hard reading your own stuff. It almost makes me want to never, ever do it again.

Then there are the posts where I was obviously going through a rough time but was trying to convince myself and others that things were good. I can’t stand to think about all the times I was in denial and tried so hard to put a good face on things. I hate fake. Especially when I am the perpetrator.

Don’t even get me started on the all the negativity I read while going through the archives…

I guess in spite of it all, this blog has documented a good part of my journey for the last 11 years. It is nice to know I got SOMETHING down in writing. Even if I hate it. I guess I will need to make the next 11 years better here.

Blast from the Past: Love Part III

Orginally posted June 6th, 2011

I have never fought in a war, but I have heard the stories. Both my granddads fought and saw some horrible and scary things. The list of terrifying things they deal with in war is very long. But when I think of terrifying and war, I think of one thing… the landmine.

Landmines and minefields can do horrific amounts of physical damage. They are an evil and brutal invention. But the emotional and psychological toll they take is nearly as bad. When it comes to sheer terror, these things are nearly second to none. The “IED” we hear so much about in Iraq is the bastard child of these things and we know the pain and terror inflicted by those.

It goes without saying, extreme caution is in order when landmines are present. One wrong move and BOOM! It’s over. The time and effort of navigating and diffusing a minefield is slow and tedious. There is nothing easy about it. They are meant to harm, scare and thwart their enemy.

You know where I am going with this. And I promise the posts about what love is “not” are winding down. I’ve just witnessed this and dealt with it so many times. It’s something we all could be more careful about.

The people we love should never have to navigate our relationships like they are walking through a minefield. Love should be full of kindness and there is nothing kind about a minefield. Love is about openness, not “don’t step there or you’ve had it”. Love should make us feel safe enough to be ourselves, not too terrified to talk or act.

We have to stop setting traps. We can’t be husbands and wives,  brothers and sister if we do. You don’t spill your secrets all at once with reckless abandon, but you can’t make them sore spots that blow up when someone gets too close them. Real love doesn’t allow that. Traps are meant for enemies, not those we say we love.

Technorati Tags: love

Blast from the Past: Love Part II

Originally posted May 29th, 2011

When I was challenged with this topic I knew almost immediately there was one crucial idea I wanted to flesh out. There is a big problem with the word love and the way we use it. This problem begins with us very early on and continues well into adulthood. It has probably done as much damage to the concept of love as anything else.

We overuse/misuse the word to the point that it could be cheapened beyond repair.

Think about it. How often do we use the word “love”. Not much you say? Think… OK, I’ll clue you in. Ever said “I love that movie”? How about “oh, that is my favorite song, I just love it!” Or maybe you have said something like “ooooooohhhh, I love [fill in favorite celebrity].” Classic overuse of the word.

If you love everything, you love nothing?

We do not “love” any of those things or these famous people we do not know, and if we actually do, there are other problems. We may really like and enjoy those things, but we do not love them. It makes no sense. We love our family. We love our friends. We do not love movies. We do not love songs. We do not love Brad Pitt.

Ever wonder why a middle school kid says they “love” their boyfriend or girlfriend? We know they haven’t a clue about love, but they still say it. It’s because we have made the word too easy to use over the years. It’s a casual thing. No big deal. I have no idea when it started with kids, but I know we were throwing it around like that when I was 12. Looking back, we all know that what we were feeling was not love. WE had so few responsibilities then and nothing really cost us anything.

Cheapened!!!

So what’s the problem? Well, when we buy something cheap, do we take good care of it like we do our expensive things? No, when things come easy and cost us very little, we tend to not care for them. If thinking and saying we love something is too easy, and there is no cost associated with it, not only are we not taking care of the word itself, but we are probably not taking good care of who we say we love.

Rehab.

Really loving our family and friends takes a huge investment. It is more than SAYING we love them, especially when we consider how we have screwed up that word. Am I saying we should not or do not need to tell them? No. That is still very important. But we have to think before we use the word. When we do use it, we have to be ready to back it up with lots of action and we need to make sure we are using where we should be using it.

Do not make the mistake of treating those you really DO love the way you do the movie star or gourmet dish you SAY you love. Those are out of site, out of mind situations. Again, we do not actually love those things. They do not matter when it comes to the big picture. The people close to us are so much more important and worthy of the word “love”.

The next time you say you love something or someone, stop and think about it. See if it is actually a love situation, or if it is perhaps one of those times you are a little too excited and go overboard with your admiration. Make the word actually mean something and use it only when it is true. You will make your life easier, the people around you happier, and maybe, just maybe, we can rehabilitate the word…

Why Do I Jailbreak My iPhone?

I was recently able to jailbreak my iPhone 4s after a long wait. See, I was jailbroken under iOS 5 and there was no jailbreak for iOS 6. So, I just didn’t upgrade. The jailbreak was that important to me. Then, I was forced into restoring my phone. And while I could have restored to 5 with a few extra steps and keep the jailbreak, I decided to do the upgrade and wait for the next jailbreak. Mistake.

3 months later it finally arrived. I was able to get back to a jailbroken phone and I couldn’t be happier. For those who do not know what jailbreaking is, here is the quick and dirty:

iOS jailbreaking is the process of removing the limitations on Apple devices running the iOS operating system through the use of software and hardware exploits – such devices include the iPhone, iPod touch, iPad, and second generation Apple TV.

I’ve had numerous questions about why I do it and what does it do for me? Here’s the list…

1. Cydia App Store – This allows me to download the apps and tweaks listed below.

2. Winterboard – This app allows me to make my user interface look cooler than the stock design. I like these kinds of tweaks. Some people could care less.

3. QuickIM – This app allows me to use Gmail Chat just like text messaging. Very handy for me personally.

4. Infiniboard – This tweak gives me the option to scroll through icons vertically in addition to horizontally.

5.  SBSettings -  This tweak is huge. With a swipe of the finger and get to the settings most important to me.

6. iBlacklist – Pesky phone number or telemarketer ringing your phone? This will handle it.

7. IntelliscreenX – I don’t know how other people exist without this. Get all your important info on your lockscreen. Weather, notification screen, Facebook, Twitter, etc…

8. BiteSMS – The built in text messaging app PALES in comparison. Best feature? Reply to a text from your lock screen.

9. 5 Icon Dock – Hey, it’s nice having an extra space on the dock.

I am sure I could think of more and will find more, but these are the big reasons I do it. Hope this was helpful. I doubt it though. :)

Boycotts

I've never been a fan of boycotts. Mostly because they are useless and never work. So few organizations or companies have been brought down by them that I am surprised people still push them. They remain a tool used by everyone from hippies to religious groups. But beyond the fact that they don't generally work, they are very short sighted, and if successful, could hurt many unintended victims.

I just read a long online conversation about boycotting Wal Mart. Now, I am the first to admit, a trip to Wal Mart is very painful and I generally try other places first. But many people still shop there. I say God bless them, they help keep a lot of people in jobs. I realize that much of what is sold there is not American made. But the labor is.

I have actually seen many of the same people who beat up whoever our President is for lack of jobs actually call for boycotts of Wal Mart to "bring them down". Ok, let's say it worked and Wal Mart crumbled. Where are their over 2 million employees going to work? How will their many single parent employees support their households? No one ever thinks about or mentions this. Surely we don't want to see those people hit the unemployment lines? Especially not right now.

And really, does anyone think that Wal Mart is going anywhere any time soon anyway? Or Target, or whoever it is you'd like to see bite the dust? Disney survived one of these years ago that was enacted by the Christian right. They even thrived. I'm thinking the big box retailers will have no problems with a boycott either.

So can we please stop clogging up Facebook and Twitter with calls to boycott ______? Please?

The past 6 months have seen my life turned completely upside down. But what has emerged is a beautiful mess. I am happier than I've been in a long time. Things are great and maybe I'll post here more. Who knows. But for those of you who still check up on me here, I wanted to say hello and let you know I'm doing just fine. :)

Live

Like everyone else I have suffered the loss of loved ones. As sad and morbid as it is to think about, one day we will ALL pass from this life. Some fear it with every fiber of their being. The idea of death is terrifying, even to those of great faith who do not see death as the end. But for many of us, me most especially, the true fear is not death at all.

There are times, usually late at night, when all is dark and quiet, when the fear creeps into me. But I have found, buried beneath the fear of dying, is my real fear. I am more afraid that I will die having never truly lived.

Living is not always easy. For too many of us it rarely is. We have worries, stresses and hurts. We have guilt and sadness. We mourn missed opportunities and have regrets. We all carry some sort of burden. These things get in the way of living. They slow us down and sometimes keep us from ever moving forward.

When these doubts and fears creep in I am now reminding myself: Life is short. And although it is very hard, it is also wonderful and beautiful. It is a process and it is worth it. I have made my mistakes and I have suffered hurts. But I am know more and more, everyday, that I am in more control of how my life goes than I have given myself credit for in the past.

Life is meant to be lived. It is meant for love. You want to know the meaning of life? Well, You will never get to the answer. Stop trying to figure it out. Listen to a child’s laughter and be filled with joy. Feel the touch someone’s hand and know you are loved. Put your arms around someone and love them. Laugh! Smile and know that life is the greatest gift we have been given.

Most of all: Live! You’ve only got one life.

Churches Have Guys Who Own Them?

My yougest said the darndest thing today. He is only 8, and we haven't been to church in a year, but the kid is very insightful. He was describing someone at one of his friend's churches and said "You know, the guy who owns the church. " I said "Who?" and he says, "you know, the pastor". We should all be very ashamed that we've set up system that makes 8 year old kids view the pastor this way.

If anyone wondered if the "Pastor as CEO" thing was real, where, there ya go. An 8 year old figured it out.