Originally posted May 29th, 2011
When I was challenged with this topic I knew almost immediately there was one crucial idea I wanted to flesh out. There is a big problem with the word love and the way we use it. This problem begins with us very early on and continues well into adulthood. It has probably done as much damage to the concept of love as anything else.
We overuse/misuse the word to the point that it could be cheapened beyond repair.
Think about it. How often do we use the word “love”. Not much you say? Think… OK, I’ll clue you in. Ever said “I love that movie”? How about “oh, that is my favorite song, I just love it!” Or maybe you have said something like “ooooooohhhh, I love [fill in favorite celebrity].” Classic overuse of the word.
If you love everything, you love nothing?
We do not “love” any of those things or these famous people we do not know, and if we actually do, there are other problems. We may really like and enjoy those things, but we do not love them. It makes no sense. We love our family. We love our friends. We do not love movies. We do not love songs. We do not love Brad Pitt.
Ever wonder why a middle school kid says they “love” their boyfriend or girlfriend? We know they haven’t a clue about love, but they still say it. It’s because we have made the word too easy to use over the years. It’s a casual thing. No big deal. I have no idea when it started with kids, but I know we were throwing it around like that when I was 12. Looking back, we all know that what we were feeling was not love. WE had so few responsibilities then and nothing really cost us anything.
Cheapened!!!
So what’s the problem? Well, when we buy something cheap, do we take good care of it like we do our expensive things? No, when things come easy and cost us very little, we tend to not care for them. If thinking and saying we love something is too easy, and there is no cost associated with it, not only are we not taking care of the word itself, but we are probably not taking good care of who we say we love.
Rehab.
Really loving our family and friends takes a huge investment. It is more than SAYING we love them, especially when we consider how we have screwed up that word. Am I saying we should not or do not need to tell them? No. That is still very important. But we have to think before we use the word. When we do use it, we have to be ready to back it up with lots of action and we need to make sure we are using where we should be using it.
Do not make the mistake of treating those you really DO love the way you do the movie star or gourmet dish you SAY you love. Those are out of site, out of mind situations. Again, we do not actually love those things. They do not matter when it comes to the big picture. The people close to us are so much more important and worthy of the word “love”.
The next time you say you love something or someone, stop and think about it. See if it is actually a love situation, or if it is perhaps one of those times you are a little too excited and go overboard with your admiration. Make the word actually mean something and use it only when it is true. You will make your life easier, the people around you happier, and maybe, just maybe, we can rehabilitate the word…
My Take on Last Night's Sullivan County School Board Work Session
This post may come across as a “stream of conscious”. I apologize ahead of time…
After witnessing Dr. Yennie’s recommendation and the many public comments at last night’s work session for the rezoning for Sullivan County Schools, I have a slightly different opinion about the entire issue. I still agree that some plan has to be put forward. Since the scenarios were put forth, I understood the scenario of combining middle school student in one current high school and high school students in the other. On some levels it makes sense. But now I know I just can’t support it. If it does indeed happen, and indications are it will for the 2014-015 school year, I will still do my best to make the transition as painless as I can for my own children. Why I changed my mind will hopefully make sense after you read my thoughts on last night.
“You have awakened a sleeping giant.” Those were the words of a South Zone speaker last night. I mention it because I find it interesting that the North Zone has been under attack by annexation and school closings for decades while Colonial Heights and South Zone citizens sat idly by and never said a word. Now that they are in the crosshairs of the board, they finally wake up. I have no ill will towards these folks though. They are trying to protect their own. It is similar to the east side of the North ignoring what was going on in the west end. As long as their schools aren’t closing and their children aren’t being shuffled around then who cares about those “other people”. This attitude will make it extremely hard for our kids to coexist in the same school. The merger will will cause much stress and anxiety.
Since everything is now up for grabs though, it is time we all come together and work to figure this out. It will take all of us. Not just the board that has been elected. They work for us and our children. It’s time we start thinking about the whole as opposed our little corner and ONLY our own children. Of course we need to protect our own, but the best way to do that is with help and support from others protecting their own. If we want our children to be safe, happy, and receive a good education, we have to work together. That will mean making some sacrifices and compromising where appropriate. Pride will need to be swallowed. I know some of us have sacrificed much already, but the pride that has been hurt by those sacrifices needs to cease being a factor in our thinking.
In all the comments I heard last night, no one put forth any real alternative suggestions other than “do nothing”. We all know that doing nothing will not help the matter. I myself did not speak. I was ready to, but the format really does little for influencing the board in my opinion. Most, if not all, on the board were not taking notes. So all they will remember is the anger and emotion. In a couple of days those things will fade in their minds. I also chose not to speak because my opinions are not popular and I do not want what I think to cause my kids any trouble at school. I will instead be sending letters, emails, and making phone calls. I did want to be present to know what was going on and show support for my children’s schools.
So what do I want out of all of this? In a perfect world I want nothing to change in the North Zone or South Zone. Most of us are happy with our children’s schools and would love to have things remain the way they are. I want that more than anything. But since it is not a perfect world, I know that we need to be prepared to walk our children through this mess and help create the next best situation. I know the numbers. I know what schools are at capacity and which are not. I know the perceived traveling, sports, teacher cuts, and community hardships that the proposed merger would create. No matter what is done, there will be people who are not happy about it. So here is what I would propose were I in a position to do so.
I would gather as much community support as I could both in the county and the city for the all of these school systems to work together for the solution. Annexation is not going away. And since our state constitution allows the cities and counties to work together in the education of our children, this would be the best long term solution. If this means one school system for all, I am for it. I know this would be an ego hit to all of our elected officials and cooperation would be tough in the beginning. Everyone naturally wants to protect their own turf. But in the long run, our kids, grandkids and generations to come would be better off for it. The silly rivalries between adults in this matter cannot trump the well-being of the regions children. Let’s get this on the table at least. It’s high time.
A few more personal “take aways” from the meeting:
I will end with this. Change is inevitable in every facet of our lives. How we handle it and shape it will determine how we live with it. I love my children dearly. I want only the best for them. But I also care very much about my friends and their children. No matter what the future brings, I will continue to voice my concerns and be involved. If you have children in any of these schools I encourage you to do same, even if your ideas are different than mine.
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